Get Help

Get Help

Information for parents, children and grandparents following separation

Divorce and separation court proceedings can be protracted and often do not result in a positive outcome. It is also very expensive, especially as there are services to help parents and grandparents to resolve the issues being faced. This is not to minimise the hurt and sense of betrayal some parents feel when they separate, but delay is damaging for children when they cannot see a loving parent who no longer lives with them, so it is important to try to put aside any bad feelings and work together for the sake of the children. This is going to be hard but so important for the children's wellbeing. It is not separation that harms children but the conflict they witness between their parents that is damaging.

Please click in the blue or red buttons below or checkout our Help A-Z below for more information... 



Further help for you and your children A-Z

We’ve found these booklets, factsheets, videos and websites which will hopefully help you and your children in your current situation. We’ve included some guidance below about how these could help you.

“Has your child’s behaviour changed since your separation? Are they having difficulties at school?”

The Cafcass videos below may help to explain the impact of separation on children…

Is your child still at primary school or nursery? They may find the ‘My family’s changing’ booklets will help them to express their feelings.

Is your child at secondary school? They may find the ‘Voices in the Middle’ website useful…

Separation is an emotional rollercoaster. The resources in the Separated Parents Information Programme workbook guides you through this difficult journey and has a section dedicated to helping your child through this process.

Do check the TOP TIPS produced by the Family Justice Young People’s Board (FJYPB). FJYPB members are children and young people with experience of family law proceedings. They have devised these top tips for parents to help them think about matters from their child’s perspective.


“Finding it difficult to agree about contact with your ex-partner?”

Checkout the Family mediation info below. Mediation services can help you to resolve contact arrangements without the need for court.

The Parenting Plan (see below) has lots of practical advice about working together to help your child in the future.

 
“Wondering if you need legal advice?”

Checkout the Family Law Panel info below – by registering on this website you can access a free initial conversation with a solicitor or a mediator to help guide you further.

 

“Do you and your ex-partner always end up arguing?”

The “Getting it Right for Children” free online course may help…(see below)

 

“Going to court?” “Confused by all the legalese?”

The Glossary below helps to explain the various terms and phrases you and your children may come across.

 

Please click on the link icon to find out more... To download the booklets/factsheets please click on the Adobe Reader icon below. If you do not have the correct software installed then you can download free viewers. ( PDF Reader ) 

Cafcass videos

When families and parents separate the conflict between them can have a negative effect on children. This means that you might see changes in their behaviour at home and they may also have difficulties at school and problems in later life. However, listening and learning from the messages in these Cafcass videos can help you to create a positive future for your child or children because when you get it right they can thrive…


Video produced by Cafcass (2015). No subtitles. Used with permission.


Video produced by Cafcass (2015). No subtitles. Used with permission.

Video produced by Cafcass (2015). No subtitles. Used with permission.


Video produced by Cafcass (2015). No subtitles. Used with permission.

 

Family Law Panel

Initial information service (with a mediator or family solicitor) completely free of charge. The Panel also offers a "reduced fees scheme" for individuals earning (as a guide) less than £20,000 per year and with less than £20,000 in accessible savings.


Family mediation


Ministry of Justice (2016)

If you’ve just split-up, you’re getting a divorce, or dissolving a civil partnership or you’ve been separated for a while, you might need to sort out arrangements with your ex or other family members. 

Check the Family Mediation Council website for details of mediation services near you.


"Getting It Right For Children" short course

Short online course for separated parents published by OnePlusOne.

“Do you know the best ways to stay calm and to make sure you listen as well as talk?” “Are you prepared to see things differently?” “Can you stop a discussion turning into an argument?”


Glossary

Sometimes it can be confusing when we hear words and phrases that we do not understand. The Family Justice Young People’s Board (FJYPB) have put together a glossary explaining some of the words and phrases which children and young people may hear about during a family court case.


Information for parents, children and grandparents following separation

NACCC (June 2018)

Information sheet produced by NACCC explaining the work of child contact centres and other organisations helping separated families.

 

My family’s changing – for younger children

 

 Cafcass (2008)

Designed to offer help and support to your younger children if you are divorcing or separating. Includes ideas from other children who have been through similar experiences, games, spaces for your children to write down and explore their feelings and details of organisations that can offer further help. 

Link takes you to Cafcass' resources for young people. Click on 'Factsheets & Leaflets'.

 

My family’s changing – for older children

 

Cafcass (2008)

Designed to offer help and support to your older children if you are divorcing or separating. Includes ideas from other children who have been through similar experiences, games, spaces for your children to write down and explore their feelings and details of organisations that can offer further help. 

Link takes you to Cafcass' resources for young people. Click on 'Factsheets & Leaflets'.


 

Parenting Plan

 

Cafcass (2015)

Are you separated or separating? This booklet has advice and information which might be helpful. With sections on ‘What is a Parenting Plan?’, ‘Thinking about safety’, ‘Drawing up a Parenting Plan’, ‘Your Plan – with sections on communication, arrangements, money, education and other issues.’

Article


Putting your children first

Anyone who has been through a family break-up or who has lost contact with their children knows how difficult it can be. It is often very upsetting and stressful for everyone, especially children. This factsheet gives you information on mediation, Cafcass and the court process.

Link takes you to Cafcass' resources for parents and carers. Click on 'Divorce and Separation'.


Separated Parents Information Programme (SPIP)

 

Cafcass (2015)

In this handbook you'll find information on the divorce process, how it can affect you and your children, and how to change things for the better.

  Article


TOP TIPS

The Family Justice Young People’s Board have developed a range of Top Tips aimed at parents and professionals working with children and young people, including:

  • Top tips for separating parents
  • FJYPB's top tips for respecting children and young people's diversity
  • Aleesha's top tips for working with children and young people with a disability
  • Matthew's top tips for working with children and young people with autism
  • Top tips for working with transgender children and young people
  • Top tips for working with LGB children and young people

Link takes you to the FJYPB web page. Scroll down to 'Our top tips for professionals'

Voices in the Middle

 

Dedicated website for young people to find help and support when in the middle of divorce and separation. Includes a ‘Conversation guide for separating parents of teenagers’

 

Not found what you are looking for?

Check out our links page for more organisations that might be able to help you in your situation.

https://naccc.org.uk/links