“Throughout the last year, and indeed on many occasions, I’ve been encouraged by the positivity of our members [of Families Need Fathers], and the overall desire simply to get things right for our kids…
…and so this Father’s Day, rather than reflect on challenges, I’ve found strength in thinking of things in a slightly different way.
Father’s Day is about celebrating being a Dad – whether that’s on our own, with our child, or indeed as a family unit. Regardless of any personal situations, we can still be proud of being a Dad – and a big part of that is being the best you can be, doing the best you can do, and making sure wherever possible that your child grows up safe, well and happy. And for all of us going through separation, or contact issues, that’s exactly at the heart of what we’re doing. All we want is to ensure our child or children can maintain a meaningful relationship with us, and that they continue to see us as the loving, nurturing, caring Father we are.
As with the best approach in trying to secure and maintain contact, the focus is the child’s needs, not ours. Father’s Day is our children’s opportunity to see us at our best. So on Father’s Day, that’s exactly what we should focus on – nothing else. Put aside all of the hurt, the upset or frustration, and let them know exactly how happy we are that they’re with us, and how lucky we are that we’ve got to spend this day with them.
But what if they can’t be with us? We’re all too familiar with the ‘two Christmas, two Easter, and two Birthday’ arrangements that have to go hand in hand with shared parenting, so if we can’t be with our loved ones on Father’s Day itself, let’s make sure the next time we’re together, we make it a special day for them – after all, it’s their Father’s Day…
An extract from Jason’s blog © Families Need Fathers used with permission.
Families Need Fathers is a charity chiefly concerned with supporting all parents, dads, mums and grandparents to have personal contact and meaningful relationships with children following parental separation.
