FAQ Resident Parents

You can encourage your child to look at the stories on our website in the children and young people section. It may be helpful for them to visit the website of the centre that you might be attending.

Childline provide a free and confidential service to children who are worried. Often because they are strangers without emotional involvement, they are amazingly well placed to help children develop a sense of perspective and overcome some of the anxieties they may have. Let your child know, its ok to talk to Childline.

My Hidden Chimp is an educational book for children to work through with an adult or by themselves. The book offers parents, teachers and carers some ideas and thoughts on how to help children to develop healthy habits for life. The science behind the habits is discussed in a practical way with exercises and activities. The neuroscience of the mind is simplified for the children to understand and then use to their advantage. Cost: about £7 https://chimpmanagement.com

There are lots of books for children and young people covering separation and divorce available on Amazon and other book shops. For example:

Questions and Feelings About: When parents separate

Dinosaurs Divorce

Many of the child contact centres we accredit accept self-referrals. This means that either party can initiate a referral. However, for a referral to be successful, both parties should be in agreement. Without a court order in place, a contact centre referral is only successful where both parties are in agreement. Neither NACCC nor a contact centre have any powers to make anyone attend a child contact centre. In this instance you would need to seek some legal advice.

Orders made by the court usually provide instructions that are for parents to follow. Centres can be bound by court orders and most of the time they will do their best to work within them.

However sometimes, this will not be possible. For example, on occasions it can happen that the court will order a centre to provide a service that they do not offer, or to provide a service that they cannot offer within the timescales allocated.

Common instructions from the court to centres might include dates for reports or a specific number of sessions to be offered. Typically, centres do follow these instructions and this works well. However, there might be other occasions where to do so is not deemed to be in the child’s best interests or might even place them at risk. This could be because of changes in information or sometimes as a result of new information that the court didn’t know when they made the order. When this happens the centre would be expected to act in the best interests of the child and if this means not following a court order then steps would usually be taken to make the court aware of this.

Different centres and courts will have different processes for dealing with this. Often the courts and centres will have an arrangement when appropriate alternatives will be offered. On other occasions your legal representatives might have a mechanism to overcome this. It is also possible that you might need to return to court to get orders changed so that they can be followed.

You don’t have to have a court order to use child contact centre. You can set up contact direct by referring yourself (we call this a self-referral) or by getting a family solicitor or mediator to help you. However, if it is difficult to reach an agreement with your ex-partner regarding contact then it may be that you will need a court order.

Are you finding that conversations regarding your children’s arrangements result in arguments? Is it impossible to reach an agreement about contact? If you are finding it difficult to discuss arrangements regarding your children with your ex-partner or family then it may be that a child contact service would be helpful in the short term. Supported child contact centres can provide a safe neutral place for contact where you as family members do not have to see each other face to face if this is going to be easier for you.

If you have experienced domestic abuse and need somewhere safe for your child to spend time with your ex-partner or family member in a supervised environment, then it might be worth discussing this with your local supervised centre. If you are concerned that your child might be at risk of harm, then a supervised centre might be a way of re-establishing contact whilst ensuring that your child’s physical and emotional well-being are maintained.

If you are concerned that your child is at immediate risk of harm or abuse then you must ring 999 and report this to the police.

If you live in England or Wales

If you are concerned that your child is not at immediate risk of harm or abuse but you are concerned that they are still at risk of harm or abuse then you should report it to your Social Services Department.

You can call or email the NSPCC to report a concern about a child or young person on 0808 800 5000 – help@nspcc.org.uk

Should a child or young person need to speak to someone in confidence they can call or email NSPCC Childline – 0800 1111 www.childline.org.uk

If you live in Northern Ireland

If it is not urgent but you are concerned about the welfare of your child you can contact the Safeguarding Board for Northern Ireland

You can call or email the NSPCC to report a concern about a child or young person on 0808 800 5000 https://www.nspcc.org.uk/

Should a child or young person need to speak to someone in confidence they can call or email NSPCC Childline – 0800 1111 www.childline.org.uk

NACCC are a membership organisation, and the centres we accredit are run independently of NACCC and therefore have their own complaints processes. In the first instance, ask the centre for a copy of their procedure; this will advise on how to make a formal complaint to the centre.

Once you have followed the centre’s complaints process and if you remain unhappy you can complain to NACCC. It is important to be realistic about your expectations though and really clearly explain what outcome you would like to achieve. Bear in mind that our role at NACCC is to ensure the centre followed its procedure and not to re-investigate or look at evidence.

We are aware of a charity organisation called Turn2us, who advise on benefits and have recently opened what they call a Response Fund. Please contact them directly for criteria requirements.

Either party can initiate a self-referral at a child contact centre. If you have contact details of your ex-partner the centre may contact them on your behalf although this is down to the discretion of the centre. You may also use a third party i.e solicitor to initiate a referral. Both parties should be in agreement to using a contact centre for the referral to be successful.

Preparing children for the use of child contact centres is key to the service going well. Children will be experiencing a wide range of feelings and emotions and these can be exacerbated by previous experiences of trauma for example. Children often do not have the capacity to understand these emotions, particularly when they are experiencing several emotions that seem to contradict one and other.

Children will often worry about upsetting one or the other parent by having contact and will often place themselves in the impossible situation of trying to appease the needs of both parents at once. Where this happens, this can be particularly upsetting and distressing for children and in some circumstances their parents too. For example, children might choose to tell a parent that their time with the other parent is “horrible” or “boring”, they might also share experiences that are reportedly occurred when spending time with the other parent that might be out of context or not factual. They do this because they think this is what the parent wants to hear, and in some cases this might well be true. However, what this also does is creates an environment where parents are increasingly fractious towards each other and the situation, therefore making it harder for them to be able to communicate and work together in the interests of the children. In some cases, the child’s perceived need to appease their parents like this can lead to child protection referrals or police investigations. 

Understanding the needs of children and working with them to ensure these needs are met, so far as is possible is crucial for the whole family, their ability to engage with services and most importantly their ability to be able to move on from services.

The parents that have children living with them are often well placed to take meaningful steps to prepare children for face to face contact. How this might look will vary from child to child and family to family, but typically it might include:

1. It being ok or better still encouraged to talk about contact and the other parent at home. Making something “ok” goes much further than saying it. Children must genuinely feel it.
2. Children should have a safe place to be able to ask questions about contact and where possible these should be answered as positively as possible.
3. Children might be helped to remember positive memories relating to the other parent, so that they are able to remember better times.
4. Children having access to photographs of the parent it is proposed that they will be sharing time with.
5. Children could be supported to visit the NACCC website for more information, or where possible the website of the centre.
6. Children should also be offered the opportunity to have a pre-visit at the centre so that they have information shared with them as a level they are able to make sense of.
7. Childline also provide a free and confidential service to children who are worried. Often because they are strangers without emotional involvement, they are amazingly well placed to help children develop a sense of perspective and overcome some of the anxieties they may have. Let your child know, its ok to talk to Childline.

Child contact centres will also have a range of ways that they support children to access services. These can vary and might include pre-visits or the use of resources. Other centres might also offer introductory sessions where children are prepared for the contact, prior to this taking place. This can happen face to face at the centre, or increasingly centres are finding innovative ways of using technology to support families to feel safe and supported when accessing services. The key is that every child and every situation is different, and centres will have the skills to develop their responses to families to ensure they are supported in such a way that best meets their needs.

Child contact centres will undertake a robust referral and risk assessment process to ascertain whether they can safely meet the needs of your family.

You might find it helpful to contact your local centre in order to discuss this with them.

It depends if your family is involved with Cafcass or social services or if you have a support worker or similar person assisting your family. If these agencies are involved, then it is likely they will decide which type of contact service is best for your family. If you do not have these agencies involved, then it will be up to you as family members to decide what is appropriate for your situation depending on your circumstances and what has happened.

As a rule, supported centres work with families that do not require direct supervision. This means that staff will not be within sight and sound of children at all times. They will not be making observations or recordings. A supported centre works with families where the level of risk is low and there is a clear plan for the family to be able to move on to more suitable arrangements. At a supported centre it is generally expected that parents will take full responsibility for the child during the session. Supported centre would typically take place within a contact centre where other families might also be present. Contact often progresses to handover sessions prior to families moving on from the service.

Supervised contact is generally used for higher risk families. It might be the case that staff need to be within sight and sound of the child at all times to ensure the safety and well-being of the child. In a supervised session the staff will be within sight and sound of the child at all times. They will be better placed to undertake basic care tasks, to teach parents to do this, or to assess parenting capacity. Supervised contact can be within a contact centre or other building. It is often also possible for families to have contact in community locations, once the contact service is satisfied that this is safe. Typical progression from a supervised centre would be to supported contact although it is also possible to progress to handovers.

NACCC have the following table that can be used as a guide when considering whether to approach a supported or supervised contact centre, although it is also worth discussing this with your local centre co-ordinator who be able to advise further.

If you have been referred to a contact centre by a professional, they might be contractually obliged to refer you to a specific service, these won’t always be accredited by NACCC and might not be the closest one to where you live. Often this will be related to how they are funding the service. If you want to use a centre that is different to the one you have been referred to, it is worth discussing this with the referrer, in case they can help.

If you have a court order, this will sometimes name a specific contact centre. Court orders will always be for NACCC accredited services. If you are unsure, do check the wording of the order though – increasingly they will order a contact centre to be used but not name a specific service.

If you are referring yourself it would be usual to use the closest NACCC accredited contact centre to the child’s home address. Exceptions to this might occur if one parent cannot know the child’s home address.

Ordinarily, it would be OK for your child to take toys of other comforters to child contact centres. It can be reassuring for them to have something with them that is familiar or that provides a sense of reassurance.

Once your referral has been accepted by the centre, each party will be invited individually to a pre-visit, here you will have the opportunity to discuss any queries, requests or concerns with the centre worker who will be able to advise accordingly.

In most cases your family will not have seen your children for even longer than you and they too will have been very hurt by this experience and keen to see them again.

Seeing your child at a contact centre is a very emotionally provocative event for you and your child. Initially, it is best if these sessions are used for you and your child to build and strengthen your relationships in this very unfamiliar environment.

In terms of the needs of your child it is worth remembering that a lot has changed in their lives recently, and maybe changes are still happening. This is likely to be very unsettling and hard to get used too, even if your child seems to be managing well. What children need is consistency and security. Therefore, it is usually best not to introduce them to new people (or too many people that they have not seen for a long time) that might make them feel insecure, until other elements of their lives feel a little more stable for them.

However, it might be possible for other people to attend child contact sessions with you after you have been using the service for some time. This will need to be discussed with the centre, prior to making any arrangements. You should not come to the centre with visitors without letting them know. Typically, they will want to seek the agreement of all parties before approving such requests.

If it is agreed, then your child can be introduced to new people, or people that they have not seen for a very long time. A supervised centre or social worker will be able to assist with planning this (re)introduction to ensure that this happens in the best way for the child. For most children, It is important that nothing is sudden or unplanned. 

Depending on your situation this process will vary but generally you will need to do the following in order to make use of a child contact centre.

Work out which type of contact service you need

1. It is important that your child is safe using our services so you will need to make sure that you work out which type of contact service you need.
2. You may have been told what type of service to look for or you may want to look on this website to work out what contact service is going to be best for your situation.
3. It is likely that you will need either supported contact or supervised contact. But you may need one of the other specialist services offered such as a supervised assessment, indirect contact, escorted contact or life story identity contact. If you are looking for a safe meeting place for your child to be collected by their other family member then it may be that a handover service would be helpful.

Find your local centre

1. Find out where your local centre is and if they offer the service you need. You will need to go on ‘Find a Centre’, select the service you need and enter the postcode to find centres nearest to that postcode that offer the service. Please note, we recommend that a centre is as close to where your child lives as possible.

Applying to use a contact centre

1. You have to apply to go to a contact centre. This application is called a ‘referral’.
2. Decide if you can refer yourself to the centre or if you need your solicitor, family mediator or Cafcass officer to make the referral on your behalf.
3. Once the centre has received your referral application they decide if they are able to offer you a place.

Go for your pre-visit meeting

1. If the centre can accept your referral, the centre co-ordinator will invite you and your child to attend the centre for a meeting to have a look round, chat about your situation and explain what they can offer. We call this a pre-visit.
2. If you don’t live with your child, your visit will be at a separate time to your child’s visit.
3. At this meeting you will be able to go through any queries or concerns you might have and also for how long you can use the centre. They will complete some paperwork with you which they will ask you to sign. This paperwork confirms what is going to happen during contact and will help them make sure it is set up properly.

Acceptance by the centre

1. The centre co-ordinator will then write to you and your child to let you know if you are able to use their service and if so when this can start.
2. If the centre cannot accept your referral they may suggest other options or alternative services that may be able to help.

Preparing children for the use of child contact centres is key to the service going well. Children will be experiencing a wide range of feelings and emotions and these can be exacerbated by previous experiences of trauma for example. Children often do not have the capacity to understand these emotions, particularly when they are experiencing several emotions that seem to contradict one and other.

Children will often worry about upsetting one or the other parent by having contact and will often place themselves in the impossible situation of trying to appease the needs of both parents at once. Where this happens, this can be particularly upsetting and distressing for children and in some circumstances their parents too. For example, children might choose to tell a parent that their time with the other parent is “horrible” or “boring”, they might also share experiences that are reportedly occurred when spending time with the other parent that might be out of context or not factual. They do this because they think this is what the parent wants to hear, and in some cases this might well be true. However, what this also does is creates an environment where parents are increasingly fractious towards each other and the situation, therefore making it harder for them to be able to communicate and work together in the interests of the children. In some cases, the child’s perceived need to appease their parents like this can lead to child protection referrals or police investigations. 

Understanding the needs of children and working with them to ensure these needs are met, so far as is possible is crucial for the whole family, their ability to engage with services and most importantly their ability to be able to move on from services.

The parents that have children living with them are often well placed to take meaningful steps to prepare children for face to face contact. How this might look will vary from child to child and family to family, but typically it might include:

1. It being ok or better still encouraged to talk about contact and the other parent at home. Making something “ok” goes much further than saying it. Children must genuinely feel it.
2. Children should have a safe place to be able to ask questions about contact and where possible these should be answered as positively as possible.
3. Children might be helped to remember positive memories relating to the other parent, so that they are able to remember better times.
4. Children having access to photographs of the parent it is proposed that they will be sharing time with.
5. Children could be supported to visit the NACCC website for more information, or where possible the website of the centre.
6. Children should also be offered the opportunity to have a pre-visit at the centre so that they have information shared with them as a level they are able to make sense of.
7. Childline also provide a free and confidential service to children who are worried. Often because they are strangers without emotional involvement, they are amazingly well placed to help children develop a sense of perspective and overcome some of the anxieties they may have. Let your child know, its ok to talk to Childline.

Child contact centres will also have a range of ways that they support children to access services. These can vary and might include pre-visits or the use of resources. Other centres might also offer introductory sessions where children are prepared for the contact, prior to this taking place. This can happen face to face at the centre, or increasingly centres are finding innovative ways of using technology to support families to feel safe and supported when accessing services. The key is that every child and every situation is different, and centres will have the skills to develop their responses to families to ensure they are supported in such a way that best meets their needs.

Child contact centres should (almost) always be thought of as ‘short term stepping stones’. In most cases a centre would plan to support your family for around 3 – 6 months. It is hoped that after this time the children’s parents will be able to work together to make arrangements that better meet the child’s needs.

Having said this, there are some (very rare) circumstances where a centre might be needed for several years. If you think this might be the case in your situation, why not contact our advice line on 0115 948 4557 or contact your nearest centre to discuss your situation.

Child contact centres are short term stepping-stones and they will be keen for your family to move on to more appropriate arrangements as soon as possible. Having a review of the current arrangements is often a really helpful way of looking and what has worked well and what the centre could support you with in the future in order to enable you to no longer need their services.

If possible, it is a really good idea for both parents to be present. This will provide you with the opportunity to get used to being in the same room and communicating. Your children will need you to do this in the future, so why not try now, whilst you have support. Don’t worry though if you don’t feel ready for this, the centre will support you.

Not wanting to see or speak to the other parent of your children is quite normal when families start to use a contact centre. However, there will come a time when your children will need you to be able to cooperate with their other parent in order to give them the best possible chances in life. Therefore, it might be worth taking some time to think about how you might achieve this in the future.

In the short term a centre will support you in not speaking to or even seeing the other parent, if this is what you want. This can be achieved with staggered arrivals and departures. It is also possible for most centres to take the children from one parent in the waiting room to the other parent in the contact room. So it can be possible for you not to have to speak to the other parent whilst using a centre.

Why not contact your local centre to share your worries with them? You might be surprised how much they can do to help.

Preparing children for the use of child contact centres is key to the service going well. Children will be experiencing a wide range of feelings and emotions and these can be exacerbated by previous experiences of trauma for example. Children often do not have the capacity to understand these emotions, particularly when they are experiencing several emotions that seem to contradict one and other.

Children will often worry about upsetting one or the other parent by having contact and will often place themselves in the impossible situation of trying to appease the needs of both parents at once. Where this happens, this can be particularly upsetting and distressing for children and in some circumstances their parents too. For example, children might choose to tell a parent that their time with the other parent is “horrible” or “boring”, they might also share experiences that are reportedly occurred when spending time with the other parent that might be out of context or not factual. They do this because they think this is what the parent wants to hear, and in some cases this might well be true. However, what this also does is creates an environment where parents are increasingly fractious towards each other and the situation, therefore making it harder for them to be able to communicate and work together in the interests of the children. In some cases, the child’s perceived need to appease their parents like this can lead to child protection referrals or police investigations. 

Understanding the needs of children and working with them to ensure these needs are met, so far as is possible is crucial for the whole family, their ability to engage with services and most importantly their ability to be able to move on from services.

The parents that have children living with them are often well placed to take meaningful steps to prepare children for face to face contact. How this might look will vary from child to child and family to family, but typically it might include:

1. It being ok or better still encouraged to talk about contact and the other parent at home. Making something “ok” goes much further than saying it. Children must genuinely feel it.
2. Children should have a safe place to be able to ask questions about contact and where possible these should be answered as positively as possible.
3. Children might be helped to remember positive memories relating to the other parent, so that they are able to remember better times.
4. Children having access to photographs of the parent it is proposed that they will be sharing time with.
5. Children could be supported to visit the NACCC website for more information, or where possible the website of the centre.
6. Children should also be offered the opportunity to have a pre-visit at the centre so that they have information shared with them as a level they are able to make sense of.
7. Childline also provide a free and confidential service to children who are worried. Often because they are strangers without emotional involvement, they are amazingly well placed to help children develop a sense of perspective and overcome some of the anxieties they may have. Let your child know, its ok to talk to Childline.

Child contact centres will also have a range of ways that they support children to access services. These can vary and might include pre-visits or the use of resources. Other centres might also offer introductory sessions where children are prepared for the contact, prior to this taking place. This can happen face to face at the centre, or increasingly centres are finding innovative ways of using technology to support families to feel safe and supported when accessing services. The key is that every child and every situation is different, and centres will have the skills to develop their responses to families to ensure they are supported in such a way that best meets their needs.

The pre-visit meeting is a chance to relay all your concerns to the centre and for them to ensure that they have all the correct information about your family. You will meet with the co-ordinator of the centre and they will explain how the centre runs and what you can expect. They will also go through the rules and regulations of the centre and if you agree to this they may offer you times and dates of when you can attend. The contact centre agreement form should be signed by yourself and they should also let you know about their compliments and complaints procedure.

The pre visit meeting should also include a chance to view the contact area although this may not always be possible. The young person should also have a pre-visit meeting, ideally separate from the adult’s meeting however individual centres will manage this in different ways.

If your child is really upset in a contact session the person they are spending time with will be expected to be able to meet their needs and if needed they will be supported to calm your child. These are important skills that will be required if or when the service moves out of the centre. It is also important that your child builds a relationship and trust with the person they are spending time with so that this can be the initial stepping-stone towards allowing this parent to meet their needs.

However, there are some, very rare, occasions when children cannot be calmed, and this is neither the fault of the child or the person they are visiting at the centre. In this scenario it is possible that sessions will be bought to an end early. Child contact centres are there to ensure the safety of children, which includes their emotional wellbeing. Centres will not allow children to become traumatised or to develop and or maintain negative memories or associations with the centre because this might stand in the way of future progress.

Initially, the centre might invite you to remain present in the centre. Possibly within a waiting room so that you can be there for your child if they become unsettled. Moving forward they will probably encourage you to be leaving the centre during contact, they will be able to call you to come back if you are needed.

In supervised contact, observation reports are written following each session. These are intended to be a summary of the session that has taken place as opposed to verbatim reports. The centre will do their best to make sure these are appropriately detailed and accurate. There is also a process for ensuring that these are quality assured by a person different to the author.

The reports can be provided to a number of different people, and this will vary based upon the specifics of your family and the centre, so it’s always worth checking with them. Ideally, the centre will let you know at the pre-visit what information will be recorded and how this will be shared.

Typically, it might be reasonable to expect the following people to have access to reports, where it is identified that these people need this information:

• Both parents
• Any Other Person with Parental Responsibility.
• Cafcass / FCA (if involved)
• Foster carers (if involved)
• Social Services (if involved)
• Solicitors (if involved)
• Courts (if involved)

If the courts have ordered contact with reports it may be the case that these reports then become the property of the court. In this scenario the relevant court order would usually outline who will have access to the reports. When it is deemed that reports are the property of the court, they must not be shared with parties other than those named, without the consent of the court.

In some cases, the child might also have access to contact reports, they would often be supported to access these by a professional, like a social worker.

When talking to children about family members they do not know but will soon meet it is important to present information to them in a way that is truthful, but appropriate to their child development. It is important not use negative language about the other person, this will shape how the child feels about the person they will be meeting and may lead to problems around anxiety. It is even possible that your negativity might be thought of as parental alienation, when this is accompanied with other actions or observations.

The conversation with the child should take place at a pace they can cope with and might actually be several conversations rather than something that can be concluded briefly. Children are likely to have questions as a result of the information you share with them, make time for this and where you can answer openly and fully. If you cannot do this, let them know, they will understand this much better than finding out later that something you said was incorrect.

Explain that there are many different types of families and this is the situation with yours. There are story books that can assist with this. Sesame Street also have a range of cartoons, which are accessible online.

Visit the Family Justice Young People’s Board (FJYPB) website for other tips around engaging with your children in a way that meets their needs, post separation.

If you are worried about the parenting skills of the other parent, this is something that you should discuss with the centre. Different centres will have different ways that they might be able to assist with this. These can vary from parenting education classes to offering a little advice now and again. If they can’t help, they will probably know who can. They will be keen to provide any support or advice they can. The safety of your children will always be their first concern.

Where this is achievable, it is in your child’s best interests to be able to have a loving relationship with both of their parents, when this can be provided safely and consistently. Children manage well when their parents separate if they are fortunate to have parents able to show the children that that can work together in the interests of the children. Unfortunately, the same is not true when children are subjected to conflict or used by one parent to hurt the other. Therefore, finding a way to work together as separated parents is important.

To make a referral to a child contact centre both parents will need to agree for this to happen.

Where parents disagree about their children or do not speak at all, help may be sought from the following places:

• Mutual friends can often support with communication and to a limited extent provide mediation between the parents.
• Trusted family members can often support with communication and to a limited extent provide mediation between the parents.
• Communicating in written form can assist communication, if people are careful not to abuse this or use emotionally charged language.
• Communication Apps. There are several different apps available, but something like ‘Our Family Wizard’ can support parents to communicate in the short term, where other methods have not worked.
• Mediation
• Cafcass/Cafcass Cymru (if involved), Cafcass website also has a range of information.
• Social Services (if involved).
• Solicitors might support with communication. This can sometimes be intimidating for the other party so caution might be advisable here. Resolution members follow a code of practice and you can also access a free conversation with a local solicitor, barrister and mediator by registering on the Family Law Panel
• Courts also provide an avenue for dispute resolution, where all other options have failed. Generally, this is best left as a last resort rather than a first point of call. You often will not get what you want in court and the process can be timely or expensive.

If you are worried about your child being introduced to new people, speak to the centre as soon as possible. They will not allow this without the consent of all parties, but it is important that they understand your concerns and consider these when making plans about what might be in the best interests of your children.

Initially, it is best if these sessions are used for the other parent and children to strengthen relationships in this very unfamiliar environment.

In terms of the needs of your child, it is worth remembering that a lot has changed in their lives recently, and maybe changes are still happening. This is likely to be very unsettling and hard to get used too, even if your child seems to be managing well. What children need is consistency and security. Therefore, it is usually best not to introduce them to new people that might make them feel insecure until other elements of their lives feel a little more stable for them.

However, it might be possible for other people to attend child contact sessions with you after you have been using the service for some time. This will need to be discussed with the centre, prior to making any arrangements. You should not come to the centre with visitors without letting them know. Typically, they will want to seek the agreement of all parties before approving such requests.

If it is agreed, then the child can be introduced to new people, or people that they have not seen for a very long time. A supervised centre or social worker will be able to assist with planning this (re)introduction to ensure that this happens in the best way for the child. For most children, it is important that nothing is sudden or unplanned.

Moving on is often the hardest part. It is easy to feel safe at the centre, particularly once you have built a rapport with them. However, it is natural to be worried about the next step.

The centre will have worked with many families and supported them to move on. This experience provides them with a good basis to know what is best for your family. If you are worried talk to them, they might be able to set your mind at rest.

Ideally, you will always do all you can to make sure you follow the arrangements that you have in place. Your children will rely on you doing this, it can be really upsetting for them when arrangements are not consistent or if they get to a centre and then contact doesn’t happen.

If your attendance or time keeping for contact is inconsistent this can also be very distressing for the other parent and it is likely that this will not help you to develop a relationship with them that is in the best interests of your children.

However, there will always be those occasions where this is just not possible. The best thing to do it to contact the centre at the nearest opportunity so that they can make the necessary arrangements to re-schedule this in a way that is best for your child. If you do not give them enough notice, it might be their policy to still charge you for the session you cannot attend. It is always worth making sure you are aware of the rules around missed sessions and that you do not cancel if there is any way of avoiding this.

Yes, all new volunteers, staff and trustees at a child contact centre accredited by NACCC need to have an enhanced disclosure from the Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) before commencing work at the centre.

Staff working at child contact centres will have appropriate qualifications and experience depending on the level of the role. If you have a query about the qualifications of staff at your local centre it is probably best to check this with them. The people running supported contact centres may not have specific qualifications but will have received the appropriate training to carry out the service. Contact supervisors in a supervised centre will likely have an NVQ Level 3 qualification in Health and Social Care (or equivalent). Co-ordinators or managers or supervised centres will ideally have a social work qualification or similar.

All NACCC accredited child contact centres and the people who work in them, will work with you impartially. They are very experienced and understand the difficulties that families will encounter.

Sometimes, the system can feel very unfair, depending upon your situation. It is worth considering that the centre has nothing to gain by taking sides and their first concern will always be the child’s best interests.

When you attend the pre-visit the centre will allow you to see the building and will hopefully be able to identify the room that your child will be spending time within. Ordinarily, parents would not be in the contact room whilst contact is taking place. This would require both parents being together at the same time and in most cases if this were possible you probably wouldn’t need the services of a contact centre.

If your child is particularly unsettled centres will have ways of managing this. One of these might be that you join your child in the contact room (maybe with or without the presence of the other parent), you would then spend time calming your child, progressing to playing with them. Then when appropriate you would be expected to become less a part of the play, and moving towards gradually leaving the room and being replaced by the other parent for the remainder of the session. It is anticipated that once the child forms positive associations with the centre and the person they are having contact with this could become less needed and cease.

Yes, Child contact centres although accredited by the NACCC and running to our national standards are autonomous and it is solely their discretion on the referrals they accept or decline.

A centre is able to decline referrals that are court ordered, in this scenario we would advise you to go back to the court. It is generally good practice to speak with centres about availability, costs, timescales and referral criteria before court orders are made.

Child contact centres will have measures in place for parents who do not want to meet their ex partner, this can be discussed at the point of first contact with the centre or within your pre visit.

Not wanting to see or speak to the other parent of your children is quite normal when families start to use a contact centre. However, there will come a time when your children will need you to be able to cooperate with their other parent in order to give them the best possible chances in life. Therefore, it might be worth taking some time to think about how you might achieve this in the future.

In the short term a centre will support you in not speaking to or even seeing the other parent, if this is what you want. This can be achieved with staggered arrivals and departures; it is also possible for most centres to take the children from one parent in the waiting room to the other parent in the contact room. So, it can be possible for you not to have to speak to the other parent whilst using a centre.

Why not contact your local centre to share your worries with them? You might be surprised how much they can do to help.

Supported contact centres may be asked by family solicitors, social workers, mediators or the court to provide information on the dates and times that you use the centre, but they will not make any notes about what happens within the session itself. This is explained in the Judicial Protocol.

On occasions where there is a safeguarding concern, this will be prioritised and the centre have a legal duty to pass on this information to the relevant authorities, which usually will include them writing a report, in line with Local Safeguarding Children Board procedures.

Yes, supported and supervised contact centres accredited by NACCC will have a set of rules. The rules will be explained to you during the contact pre visit/agreement meeting and then you will be asked to agree to the rules of the centre and sign the pre-visit agreement to confirm that you understand and are agreeing to adhere to them. Failure to do so will lead to the service being withdrawn.

Sample rules for parents using a contact centre – it is worth noting that any rules at a centre you might attend might vary from this list.

The rules are likely to include the following but do check with your local centre to be shown a copy of their rules:

1. Please do not bring any other person with you unless previously agreed at the information meeting.
2. Any person displaying violence, bad language, intimidation or aggression inside or directly outside of the contact centre will automatically lose their place at the centre.
3. Aggressive and intimidating conduct towards staff will not be tolerated and may lead to place being withdrawn.
4. Any person arriving at the centre under the influence of drugs or alcohol will be asked to leave immediately and will lose their place.
5. Smoking is not permitted inside the grounds of the centre.
6. You must not access any other part of the building apart from the waiting room and the toilet if you are the person escorting the children.
7. If you do not attend 2 contact sessions without informing the contact centre of a valid reason, your place will be allocated to another family.
8. Children are the responsibility of parents at all times. Staff are at hand to help if needed.
9. If contact has been delayed for whatever reason, the session may still go ahead only for the remaining time left.
10. Visitors must arrive 10 -15 minutes prior to the escorting person and child arriving. The visitor must stay behind 10 -15 minutes after the session has ended.
11. Please switch off mobile phone during contact sessions. Videoing is not allowed on our premises.
12. Please DO NOT bring any balloons, flying toys, toy guns etc while at our centre.
13. Please note staff (at supported contact centres) do not write reports or comment on contact sessions unless we feel there is a safeguarding issue. Only dates and times of attendance will be given out upon request.
14. Please do not ask your children to pass gifts or belongings, money or messages (either verbally or written) to your ex-partner.
15. Supported contact is a temporary measure used to re-establish trusting relationships. You are expected to move on and make your own contact arrangements in the near future.

If you are having supervised contact the staff will write a summary of what happened at the session. You might see them writing or typing notes that help them remember what happened, but sometimes they have a great memory and will not need to take these notes whilst the session is happening.

Staff will record anything they consider relevant and this will often extend beyond just the session itself.

If you are unsure whether notes are being taken its ok to ask about this and the centre will be able to tell you if they are taking notes and who they will be sharing these with.

If there are no other professionals working with your family the centre will have agreed who to give the notes too. If there are other professionals, they would usually be able to see these notes. These professionals might then use these to think about the future and what might be best.

If you are having supported contact, you will not usually see any notes being taken. Supported centres will make notes about dates and times that you use the centre, but they will not make any notes about what happens within the session itself. If a centre has safeguarding concerns these will be shared in writing with relevant authorities in order to ensure the safety of children.

Child contact centres work on the basis that they are providing a short term stepping-stone in families’ lives. In most cases it should be expected that a centre will be needed for no more than 3-6 months, although this is obviously different for some families and for Looked After Children. Every case is assessed and planned for on an individual basis and centres are usually well placed to meet the needs of the families using their services.

Contact centres often have a review session where they consider the contact moving forwards. This could be from supervised contact to supported contact. Contact centres also offer handovers into the community. The young person can be signed into the centre on the register and then the contact person can take the young person out for the time of the contact session and then sign the person back in. This helps to build confidence before contact progresses without the centre.

The contact centre also provide parenting plans and these consider many areas of a young person’s welfare. This is a helpful tool to help the adults make informed decisions for the young person and how to safely move contact forwards. The parenting plan can be found on the NACCC website and it would be beneficial for every parent to have sight of one before contact commences.

The people who run child contact centres do this because the safety of children and families are important to them. They will do all they can to ensure that services are safe and effective.

NACCC child contact centres and services have an accreditation process which shows that all NACCC services work to agreed and approved national standards, which ensure that families using the services are safe. The national standards are updated by NACCC in line with legislation and good practice.

Centres engage in training in relation to the running of their services. They also have close working relationships with Local Safeguarding Children Boards to ensure that they understand how their practice protects children and that they are working to the best possible standards.

Your local centre may have published the costs of contact on our ‘Find a centre’ service. Do search to see if the centre’s prices are showing or contact the centre direct for full details.

The price of child contact is often dependant on several factors and the cost can vary significantly. Elements that can effect cost can relate to how the centre is funded, the range of services on offer, the expertise of staff offering a service as well as the cost of all of the usual overheads associated with running a service. 

Sometimes, this cost will be covered by Cafcass or Social Services, on other occasions you might be responsible for paying any associated fees.

Being a membership organisation, NACCC does not have any involvement with charges for services. Please check with your local centre for any enquiries on costs for their services.

Many centres are aware of how finance can be a barrier to children having contact and they might have a way of being able to support with this or signposting to other services that have the resource to be able to support. Whilst, we can’t guarantee a solution that will suite all, it might be worth having a discussion with your local centre.

Other organisations like Families Need Fathers, Match Mothers and Only Mums or Only Dads might also have information that might assist here.

Depending on your situation this process will vary but generally you will need to do the following in order to make use of a child contact centre.

Work out which type of contact service you need

1. It is important that your child is safe using our services so you will need to make sure that you work out which type of contact service you need.
2. You may have been told what type of service to look for or you may want to look on this website to work out what contact service is going to be best for your situation.
3. It is likely that you will need either supported contact or supervised contact. But you may need one of the other specialist services offered such as a supervised assessment, indirect contact, escorted contact or life story identity contact. If you are looking for a safe meeting place for your child to be collected by their other family member then it may be that a handover service would be helpful.

Find your local centre

1. Find out where your local centre is and if they offer the service you need. You will need to go on ‘Find a Centre’, select the service you need and enter the postcode to find centres nearest to that postcode that offer the service. Please note, we recommend that a centre is as close to where your child lives as possible.

Applying to use a contact centre

1. You have to apply to go to a contact centre. This application is called a ‘referral’.
2. Decide if you can refer yourself to the centre or if you need your solicitor, family mediator or Cafcass officer to make the referral on your behalf.
3. Once the centre has received your referral application they decide if they are able to offer you a place.

Go for your pre-visit meeting

1. If the centre can accept your referral, the centre co-ordinator will invite you and your child to attend the centre for a meeting to have a look round, chat about your situation and explain what they can offer. We call this a pre-visit.
2. If you don’t live with your child, your visit will be at a separate time to your child’s visit.
3. At this meeting you will be able to go through any queries or concerns you might have and also for how long you can use the centre. They will complete some paperwork with you which they will ask you to sign. This paperwork confirms what is going to happen during contact and will help them make sure it is set up properly.

Acceptance by the centre

1. The centre co-ordinator will then write to you and your child to let you know if you are able to use their service and if so when this can start.
2. If the centre cannot accept your referral they may suggest other options or alternative services that may be able to help.

A supervised centre will provide a safe environment for your children to spend time with the parent they no longer live with. The centre will make recordings and provide advice and support where it is in the child’s best interests to do so.

Staff working at child contact centres will have appropriate qualifications and experience depending on the level of the role. If you have a query about the qualifications of staff at your local centre it is probably best to check this with them. The people running supported contact centres may not have specific qualifications but will have received the appropriate training to carry out the service. Contact supervisors in a supervised centre will likely have an NVQ Level 3 qualification in Health and Social Care (or equivalent). Co-ordinators or managers or supervised centres will ideally have a social work qualification or similar.

A contact centre is a safe place for children to spend time with people that they care about that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to see.

Before contact starts the centre will invite you to have a look round, meet the staff and see the centre. We call this a ‘pre-visit’. If your child lives with you then they will be invited to come at the same time in order that the centre can become more familiar and safer to them. This visit is a good chance for you all to find out about how the centre will work with your family but it is also really important that you are able to share about your situation so that the centre staff can make sure that their service is going to be right for your situation. If there are aspects of your situation that you would prefer to discuss without your child overhearing then it might be advisable for another adult to accompany you so that they can stay with your child while you discuss your situation with the co-ordinator. The person who your child will be seeing at the centre will have their own separate visit. (See our other questions about what happens at a pre-visit for more detail)

As long as the pre-visits go well and the centre is still happy to accept your application you will be invited to bring your child or children for their first contact session. A contact session is where your ex-partner and your child can spend time together, do an activity or play a game.

The centre staff will check all your details off on the register and it may be that you will be shown to a waiting room or separate area whilst they wait for your ex-partner to arrive and be shown into the contact room. If you do not wish to see your ex-partner at the centre then a member of staff can help bring your child or children to the contact room.

Because centres are all different it might be best to ask them about how they will support you and what will be happening there.

A child contact centre is a safe, friendly and neutral place where children of separated families can spend time with one or both parents and sometimes other family members. They are child-centred environments that provide toys, games and facilities that reflect the diverse needs of children affected by family breakdown. 

A handover is a service offered by supported and supervised centres. This enables the child to move from one parent to the other in the supportive environment of the centre, without actually using the contact centre to spend time with the child.

A self-referral is where you as parents each complete an application form to request that contact be set up at a child contact centre. In order for this to work well there may need to be some communication between you, in terms of liaising about dates and times of appointments for example.

If you are not allowed to contact your ex-partner, then it may not be possible to do a self-referral and you may need to get a third party such as a solicitor or mediator to complete a referral form on your behalf.

A self-referral application form will ask you to share information with the centre in order that they can set up contact safely for your child. This could include details of organisations helping you, details about your current circumstances and that of your children.

You can check on our Find a Centre service to see if your local centre accepts self-referrals and whether you can apply to them direct or if you need to apply via NACCC’s Safe Referral System. NACCC’s Safe Referral System is a website which helps you to apply to child contact centres registered on the system.

Supported contact will not be suitable for any situation involving risk to children or adults; supported contact centres do not supervise contact or write reports but offer facilities where a family needs this for a defined period of time. They should only be used where safe and beneficial contact for the child can clearly take place.

Generally, the main differences between supported contact and supervised contact are as follows:

*See also ‘How can I decide which level of contact is appropriate for the family I’m working with?’

Click to find details of your local centre. You can tick which contact service you require and then enter your town or postcode to find the nearest centres to you.

This will depend on your current circumstances. In some cases the person that referred you to a centre will pay for the cost of you being there.

In other cases a court order might outline who is to pay for the cost of using a child contact centre.

Sometimes, one parent will cover the entire cost of this.

Sometimes it might be possible to make an agreement with the other parent where the cost is shared.

Why not speak to the centre or the person who referred you to see what might be possible?

Some contact centres are run as profit making businesses and others are run as charities. There are also some run by councils. The way that the centre is run and the service you want to receive will have a big impact on the cost of the service.

Charities are often run by volunteers and funded in a number of different ways. When you are asked to pay at a charity, you are often not paying what it will be costing to run the service. Having this charge in place will support this charity to offer you the best service that is possible for them, but also ensure that they are there for children and families that might need them in the future.

Private businesses will be operating based on being profit making. They often have well established centres that are well maintained and well resourced. The people running these centres will be professionals. In these cases, the cost that you are asked to pay with contribute to the sustainability of the service.

Any cost associated with using a contact centre will be understood from the outset. It will be incredibly rare for costs to occur that you could not have anticipated. Sometimes, the person who referred you to a service might cover some of all the cost of using this. If you are ever unsure check with the contact centre or referrer for more information.

If the cost of using a contact centre is something that worries you – talk to them. There might be a way they can help, and you will not have been the first to be worried about this. We are aware of a charity organisation called Turn2us, who advise on benefits and have recently opened what they call a Response Fund. Please contact them directly for criteria requirements.

The price of child contact is often dependant on several factors and the cost can vary significantly. Elements that can effect cost can relate to how the centre is funded, the range of services on offer, the expertise of staff offering a service as well as the cost of all of the usual overheads associated with running a service. 

Sometimes, this cost will be covered by Cafcass or Social Services, on other occasions you might be responsible for paying any associated fees.

Being a membership organisation, NACCC does not have any involvement with charges for services. Please check with your local centre for any enquiries on costs for their services.

Many centres are aware of how finance can be a barrier to children having contact and they might have a way of being able to support with this or signposting to other services that have the resource to be able to support. Whilst, we can’t guarantee a solution that will suit all, it might be worth having a discussion with your local centre.

Other organisations like Families Need Fathers, Match Mothers and Only Mums or Only Dads might also have information that might assist here. We are aware of a charity organisation called Turn2us, who advise on benefits and have recently opened what they call a Response Fund. Please contact them directly for criteria requirements.

Are you finding that conversations regarding your children’s arrangements result in arguments? Is it impossible to reach an agreement about contact? If you are finding it difficult to discuss arrangements regarding your children with your ex-partner or family then it may be that a child contact service would be helpful in the short term. Supported child contact centres can provide a safe neutral place for contact where you as family members do not have to see each other face to face if this is going to be easier for you.

If you have experienced domestic abuse and need somewhere safe for your child to spend time with your ex-partner or family member in a supervised environment, then it might be worth discussing this with your local supervised centre. If you are concerned that your child might be at risk of harm, then a supervised centre might be a way of re-establishing contact whilst ensuring that your child’s physical and emotional wellbeing are maintained.

NACCC has an information line which runs part time (9am to 1pm Monday to Friday). Please try and find out the answer to your query on our website but if you are unable to find what you are looking for please do call the information line on 0115 948 4557. You can also contact us at any time using the Contact form on this website.

NACCC is not responsible for the direct running of child contact centres as these are all independent organisations with their own management. Contact centres might be run by charities, councils or limited companies and therefore, they are usually owned by the people that run them – NACCC is a membership organisation and members choose to be accredited by us. NACCC’s role is to ensure that child contact centres work to the national standards for supported contact and supervised contact, which ensure that families using the services are safe. The national standards are updated by NACCC in line with legislation and good practice.

Click to find details of your local centre. You can tick which contact service you require and then enter your town or postcode to find the nearest centres to you.

Child contact centres are autonomous – NACCC is a membership organisation and members choose to be accredited by us. NACCC child contact centres and services have an accreditation process that shows that all NACCC services work to agreed and approved national standards, which ensure that families using the services are safe. The national standards are updated by NACCC in line with legislation and good practice.

Child contact centres are autonomous. They might be run by charities, councils or limited companies and therefore, they are usually owned by the people that run them – NACCC is a membership organisation and members choose to be accredited by us. NACCC child contact centres and services have an accreditation process that shows that all NACCC services work to agreed and approved national standards, which ensure that families using the services are safe. The national standards are updated by NACCC in line with legislation and good practice.